14 Predictions, Of Scientific Merit, For 21st Century Life On Earth
We humans are puzzling little critters. How can we have invented both powdered donuts, which are so awesome, and asbestos, which is so not? How is it that scented Play-Doh and Somali pirates can exist within the same space and time? It’s no wonder that intelligent aliens are circling our atmosphere, but carefully maintaining their distance; they can’t be sure if they’ll be greeted with a pitcher of mojitos or a Justin Bieber concert. (Though it could be argued that one could not be tolerated without the other…) And when we finally screw up this planet so badly that we’re forced to flee for good, what will we leave behind to show that we weren’t all bad? When, hundreds of years from now, an intrepid team returns to explore the wasteland we left behind (as does the crew in the new sci-fi series Alpha Planet), what will they find?
Below are some predictions for 21st century life, of sci-fi literature proportions, on both the near and distant horizons, that might leave clues to any future trekkers of our ruined planet. Each of them reveals a little aspect of the angels of human nature, for better or for worse. We’ll leave it up to you decide which are better, and which are worse.
Alpha Planet: News Prelude
1. PERSONAL JET PACKS
You people just won’t let this go, will you? Look, for years and years, the more honest scientists of the world have been telling you the plain, awful truth: your lumpy, non-aerodynamic tuchas were simply not meant for independent flight. Not without the help of a few tons of steel and a flotation device, anyway. But since you refuse to let it die, we’ll help you keep hope alive a little longer. The technology, awkward as it may be, is improving. So yes, we suppose it is possible that sometime in the not-so-distant future, all the coolest cats will sporting these to and from the sock hop. If you’ve got the disposable scratch, and the time for hours and hours of training, there are a few companies who will happily take your rent money in exchange for a shot at (fiery, clumsy, perilous) assisted levitation. Have at it, Elroy Jetson. (Hey, spouses, if you’re listening: now might be a good time to check the parameters of the ol’ life insurance policy…)
Like it or not, you will be assimilated. Don’t fight it. It’s already happening. We’ve got cochlear implants to restore hearing, partially bionic cats, (insert “faux paws” joke here), mechanical arms and fingers controlled by the user’s mind, and look what’s on the horizon: Robotic exoskeletons. Bionic strap-on…legs. (You thought we were going to say something else, didn’t you? Dirty bird.) Or perhaps you’d be interested in something in a synthetic blood substitute? Sure, by the end, you’ll be more machine than man. But think how much you’ll save on moisturizer!
As sleek, futuristic and convenient as it might sound, the notion of swallowing our Thanksgiving supper down in one handy gulp has never quite taken off. We humans just love stuffing our faces too darn much to give up such a visceral, corporeal flesh-pleasure. (See above reference to our lumpy, non-flight-worthy bums.). We like sniffing it. We like chewing it. We like tasting it. (And, if we’re celebrities, we like ejecting it. Double the fun!) Nonetheless, food science continues to work at finding ways to extract desirable nutritional aspects of real food, and distill them down into handy, pop-able capsules. Cranberry pills for urinary tract health, garlic pills for antibiotic effects, isoflavone-enriched whatnots for… whatever. Though the potential benefit of these “nutraceuticals” is still being debated, corporations continue to plug away, and a few are actually appearing to show decent results. Take Cambridge Theranostics, for example: they’ve developed a pill that takes the artery-clearing properties found in tomato skins, and shrunk the molecules down so that they can be easily absorbed by humans when placed in capsule form. Next up? A grilled cheese sandwich tablet on the side.
It’s time to face the truth, dude. You’ll never bag yourself a tall, blue Ohura with that schlubby bod you’re sporting. If only there were a way to shape up… you know, without all the “healthy living” hippie crap. Well, it might be a few years out, but the possibility of traipsing around the planet without leaving your Barc-a-lounger is hardly far-fetched. Mind-controlled video games like Judecca, a collaboration between Japanese (of course) publisher Square Enix and NeuroSky, (who have been marketing their devices since 2005), have shown us that the tech isn’t that far from being workable. Or how about this even-more-concrete example: Honda’s Asimo robot, whose movement can be controlled by a human simply imagining its actions. So if you can just hang tight a few years, (what, like you’re so busy? Please.), while Honda perfects your hotter, smarter, all-together more desirable self, you’ll up and at those ladies in no time. Strap on that sexy headpiece and go get ‘em, tiger.
Remember the tricorders from Star Trek? Of course you do, we forgot who we were talking to. Bones held up the circa-1989-car-phone-looking-thing to the suffering crewperson, lights twinkled, sounds…sounded, and bing!, diagnosis. Convenient, portable, and accurate. And if the sponsors of the X Prize have anything to say about it, they will be coming soon to a mobile device near you. The non-profit organization, which offers up cash incentives for innovations that have the potential to benefit humanity, has announced their intention to sponsor a prize for “the first team to build an artificial intelligence system that can offer a medical diagnosis as good as or better than a diagnosis from a group of 10 board-certified doctors.” You hear that, Dr. House? Might as well go back on the dope, ‘cause your days are numbered, pal.
Earth’s animals are disappearing at an alarming rate. 15 have gone extinct in the past 20 years, and 12 survive only in captivity. Thousands of species are now considered at risk of extinction, and the numbers keep growing. To which we say…who cares? Who needs ‘em? We’re a stone’s throw from Blade Runner levels already, when it comes to replicating the behavior, appearance, and adorable-ness of our animalian counterparts. Simpler models, like this baby white tiger, are already available at your local Target. And, if you’ve got a little more disposable income, you might spring for Pleo, the cutest lil’ interactive dino this side of the Jurassic. He can recognize people, food, and toys, knows when he’s being cuddled, and has additional downloadable personalities. Then there’s the impossibly cute Paro, a harp seal designed to help patients in therapeutic settings by…well, just by being impossibly cute, we guess. And still more advanced experiments are in the works, like Probo, from a robotic cognition research team at Vrije Universiteit Brussel. This long-schnozzed critter can read facial expressions, understand complex speech, react to social cues, and provide appropriate responses. Soon enough, each of us will have his own version of A.I.’s Teddy. And unlike a biological pet, he’ll never take a s%&t in your brand-new Sketchers.
You already searched your GPS system’s voice options for one that will make you feel more Knightrideresque, (yes, that’s a word); alas, no luck. Buck up, my little wannabe Hoff, intelligent cars are already here, and the horizon looks even smarter. Intel is working on a black box-like device that will send accident info, including video, (to prove that loser really did cut you off while he was texting his bookie), to the police and your insurance company. And at the recent IEEE Intelligent Vehicles Symposium, vendors were touting a future of cars with active steering (to help you stay in your freakin’ lane, buddy), emergency braking in the face of obstacles, (to help you avoid Bambi-smushing), integrated warning strategies that use 3-D imaging, (to tell you when one of those weensy, sneaky Smart Cars has snuck into your blind spot)…even automatic windshield dimming, (to trip out your grandma). Our favorite? This Volkswagen, that will go park itself, and then come back to you like a well-trained schnauzer when you’re ready to roll. But if you just can’t wait, you might just give William Daniels a call. He hasn’t worked since 2008…maybe you can pay him to sit in the back and gently chide you on the way to Trader Joe’s.
Alpha Planet, Episode 1: Prodigal Sons
8. GENETICALLY ENGINEERED SUPERBABIES
According to the CDC’s 2007 data, 57,569 infants were born in 2006 using in vitro fertilization. That’s 1% of all infants born in the United States every year- double the number of the previous decade, thanks to improved harvesting (eww, “harvesting”?), and implantation methods, not the least of which involves selecting embryos for implantation that show the greatest chance of developing into healthy babies. By using Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD), it is relatively simple to select embryos based on the particular presence, or lack, of certain genetic sequences. Usually, doctors are checking for disorders that interfere with healthy development. But it’s also possible to select for such things as sex, genetic matches, (for donations for ill siblings)…even cosmetic traits, such as eye color or complexion or likeliness to grow up to be a total hottie. But what happens as the tests get more specific, (which they are), and people are able to select for and against a wider and more specific variety of traits? Say, against homosexuality, and in favor of…SHEER BLOODLUST? Eugenics, that’s what. Creepy, corn-fieldy, everyone-bow-to-our-hyperintelligent-giant-headed-baby-overlords eugenics. We can only pray they don’t start talking with Bruce Willis’s voice…shudder…
So, not to get all conspiracy theory on you, man, but…we’re like, totally on the verge of having our brains taken over by The Man, man. Dude, it’s been going on for years- the CIA dosing unwitting subjects with LSD, and experimenting on prisoners and mental patients with sensory deprivation, alcohol, tranquilizers; all in the name of finding a way to manipulate the behavior and actions, not just of an individual, but of masses of people simultaneously. Sure, the government now insists that it has changed its evil ways, but don’t be fooled. The quest to own your grey matter continues: the Department of Defense is showing interest in functional MRI, which is being touted as the next wave of lie detector, letting the observer literally read the subject’s mind. And researchers recently announced findings that ketamine showed significant promise in treating severe depression. Did you hear me? Special K! Horse tranquilizers! Have you ever seen anyone on that stuff? They move and talk like they’re moving through pudding. Delicious, creamy, brain-disintegrating pudding. If you paid attention in your junior year lit class, you might remember Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”- where the citizens were given SOMA, a drug that kept the population compliant and happily consuming goods by providing a blissful, permanent, “holiday” from life (and those pesky critical thinking skills.) And if you didn’t pay attention in junior year lit class, perhaps you saw “Brain Candy”? They’re after us, man. They’re probably dosing our Aquafresh, and every time we brush our teeth, we’re, like, getting secret messages from…wait. Why are you looking at us like that? Are you cop?
Once the government gets a handle on those mind-controlling drugs, it’s only a matter of time before they start creating zombies. And, as we all know, once the zombies are created, it’s only natural that things go awry, and all hell breaks loose. But how might Uncle Sam master the art of zombie creation, when so many comical mad scientists have failed? Why, look to sweet old Mother Nature, who’s been doing it for millions of years, via parasites, the freeloading drummer roommates of the animal kingdom. Here’s a totally disturbing slideshow of how it’s done. All the CIA, or a comical mad scientist will need, is to figure out how to harness these brain sucking buggers, and voila! Zombie outbreak. But how do we know the threat of undead invasion is to be taken seriously? Because Canadian mathematicians have created a detailed epidemiological model of how it will all go down. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned from watching countless reruns of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”, it’s this: DO NOT TRIFLE WITH CANADIAN MATHEMETICIANS.
If you enjoy the antics of baby polar bears, you might want to start collecting the desk calendars now. In case you’ve totally been ignoring the plaintive cries of Ed Begely, the icecaps are melting, and melting faster than almost anyone predicted. And that means a whole host of bad, bad stuff, not only for the bears, but for all of us. We’re talking rising sea levels, dramatic temperature shifts, and probable destruction of many small island nations. This is serious, people. You might be able to replace the baby polar bears with robotic ones, as seen above, but once those hula lamps are gone, they’re gone for good.
We’ve already got the now-infamous Dolly the Sheep, a bunch of mice, some cows, cats, deer, and whole host of others that would warm Old MacDonald’s heart right up. Despite the ethical and logistical complications that surround all aspects of human cloning, this particular book of matches is just too tempting for scientists to leave sitting on the dresser. It’s pretty much accepted that sometime, (soon), somebody, somewhere, is going to successfully clone somebody else. And then that person will clone himself, and that person will clone himself, and by the following Tuesday, 75% of the city of Asheville, NC will be populated by someone named Harold. Perhaps you ought to pop over to Amazon and to add this handy book to your wish list?
The time has come for us to pause and ask ourselves the Eternal Question: If frogs can survive being frozen, only to wake up when gently thawed and hop happily off in to greet their forest friends, why can’t we? Alright, well, maybe that’s not THE Eternal Question, but it’s certainly a question, and one which we humans just can’t get out of our collective heads. Even though most scientists agree that we’re a long way off from being able to thaw out Ted Williams (which, frankly, is probably for the best, considering the sorry state of baseball these days…), there are genuine advances being made in alternate ways to induce suspended animation. Hydrogen sulfide has been shown to create reversible coma-like states in mice. So, you’d smell like a three-week-old Easter egg, but hey, you’d be alive! Scientists at the Safar Center for Resuscitation Research in Pittsburgh have revived dogs whose blood has been replaced with a cold saline and glucose solution, after three hours of clinical “death.” Similar studies on pigs, using a slightly different method, have also shown comparable results, as have experiments using what is essentially oxygen deprivation. Sadly, none of the advancements seem to involve encasing prisoners in carbonite. Sigh…maybe next millennium.
We’re very sorry to be the bearers of such bad news, but we thought you’d rather hear it from us than Katie Couric: it appears as though humans, and the collective horses we rode in on, are doomed. The culprits won’t be nukes, as we’ve all been led to believe, but teensy-weensy little buggers. Nanotechnology has been marketed to the public as the next frontier; we’re told it’s the key to improved cancer research, safer cars, stronger golf clubs, and more stain-resistant khakis. But would governments around the globe be pouring billions of dollars into nanotech research, just to ensure that you can easily wipe chocolate pudding off your chinos? No, it’s a little more sinister than that- think virtually undetectable WMD’s, kids. And the experts, (you know, those folks we never listen to until it’s way too late?), are concerned. The fact is, even the most well-intentioned nanotech developments can have dire unintended consequences, because once a nanoparticle is released into Earth’s environment, no one really knows how it will interact with its surroundings. For example, in 2004, the nanoparticles of carbon (innocuously-named “buckyballs”, after Richard Buckminster Fuller, whose architectural “biosphere” structures the particles resemble), were found to cause brain damage and changes to the very genetic structure of fish who had been exposed to even small levels, over the course of just 48 hours. And that’s only one example: there are many, many more incidents of nanoparticles penetrating the skin, entering the lungs, crossing from placenta to fetus, and causing damage on a cellular level. It’s sobering stuff, and it’s got many in the scientific community pushing for stricter regulations, and an “Inner Space Treaty” to help stem the tide before it’s too late.
We’re thinking the ketamine pill sounds pretty good right about now. It’s the end of the world as we know it, and we feel fine.
Alpha Planet, Episode 2: Diversilobum
Alpha Planet, Episode 3: When on Earth
Annie Cooper is a writer, armchair public transportation advocate, and aspiring taco critic. She has written columns and specialized training materials related to children with special needs, parenting issues, and early childhood development. Her writings are geared toward therapists, social workers, and teachers of young children with complex medical and developmental issues. She recently left her job in social services in an effort to become part of the problem, rather than the solution. Annie lives in Los Angeles, but she’s not from there – nobody’s from there.
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